Un peu d’humour britannique pour mettre de la bonne humeur dans ce week-end qui s’annonce : un de mes sketch préférés des Monty Python : Airline Pilots
Et voici le script du texte si cela peut vous aider :
Captain (C) : John Cleese
First Officer (FO) : Graham Chapman
Stewart (S) : Michael Palin
C: I spy with my little eye something beginning with S.
FO: I spy with my little eye something beginning with C.
FO: Yeah. Oh God, I’m bored.
C: I’m fed up with that game. Let’s play another game. I know what..
C: Hello, this is your Captain speaking. There is absolutely no cause for alarm. That’ll get them thinking.
C: No, no, no, no. Not yet, not yet. Let it sink in. They’ll be thinking, er, ‘What is there no cause for alarm about? Are the wings on fire?’
C: The wings are not on fire. Now they’re thinking, er, ‘why should he say that?’ So we say…
FO: Oh, how are we doing?
S: They’ve stopped eating. Looking a bit worried…
S: Hang on, one of them is going to the washroom.
C: Is he there yet?
S: He’s just closing the door… NOW!
C: One… Two… Three..
FO: Please return to your seats and fasten your safety-belts immediately.
S: Yes… here he comes, going up the aisle like the clappers. I’ll do the worried walk now.
FO: Right. Safety regulations.
C: Safety regulations.
FO: Please listen carefully. I want you, I want to remind you of some of the safety regulations. In the case of emergency it is vitally important to…
FO: as the warning buzzer sounds.
C: Oh, that’s got them rattled.
S: Great, great!
C: Hey, I’ve got an idea! Hello, you will find your life-jackets under your seats.
FO: No, they’re on the racks.
C: Sh, shh, let them scrabble a bit. I’m sorry, you will find them on the racks above your heads. But do not unfasten your safety belts.
S: Great, great, that was marvellous!
FO: Right. Gobbledegook.
C: Oh, yes.
FO: The scransons above your heads are now ready to flange. Please unfasten your safety belts and press the emergency photoscamps on the back of the seats behind you.
S: Marvellous, milling about, climbing over the seats.
FO: Please find the emergency sprill in the washroom at the back and release it…
C: but do not unfasten your safety belts.
S: That got them back to their seats.
FO: The emergency sprill MUST be released…
C: but do not leave your seats.
FO: Do not panic.
C: Tea will now be served.
FO: Inflate your life-jackets
C: and extinguish all cigarettes.
FO: Please remove the luggage from the racks above your heads and place it on the racks on the other side of the aircraft.
C: Except for hand luggage…
FO: which you should sit on.
C: Now have a look.
S: Hang on… hang on… they’ve all jumped out!
C: You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some trouble about this.